Another theory Bites the Dust, Goddammit

A bit of backstory: I am relatively nondescript-looking. Really. I mean, sure, my glasses are pink (or eco-friendly or blue, or yellow) as well as I wear the type of prints that insensitive pranksters like to hide in the wardrobes of blind people, however physically, I am not all that striking. Which means that people frequently state that they understand somebody who looks just like ME. Really! Their cousin’s friend, a woman they went to high institution with, somebody they understood vaguely at their very first task … who might be my twin.

So my jokey answer, of course, is “Oh, yes, that must be my great twin.” (Evil twin references always equal comedy.)

But today, browsing on the phrase “the most gorgeous gown ever”, I discovered her. My spiritual twin: she composes a fashion diary/blog. However, she’s my EVIL twin. exactly how do I understand she’s evil? since THIS is what what she believed was “the most gorgeous gown ever”:

For once, I’m not going to apologize for exactly how little the pic is. any type of bigger as well as you’d be looking at long-term damage to your optic nerve. perhaps even hallucinations.

Oh yes, this is one of those smocky “dresses” — I utilize the word “dress” for this only since she does — that people wear belted, over jeans, like so:

She explains this as “pretty without being as well heavy, comfortable without being as well casual, as well as incredibly workable – can be used alone as a gown or skirt, with jeans, belted, you name it”. (My name for it would be “anathema,” frankly.) Question: this is a strapless smocked cotton housedress–how is it not as well casual? Oh, it must be since (you can’t tell from the pic) it’s SEQUINED. So you have to hand-wash it.

And she states the sizing is good, since the S/M fits her perfectly. I’m sorry. S/M is not a SIZE. S/M is a punt. S/M states “Oh, I’m sorry, I only style in two sizes, one for me, as well as one for my one buddy (whom we phone call “plus-size” since she uses a size 10). She uses the M/L.”

One other thing: it was $120. Yes, that’s right. $120. C’mon, people! Paying $120 for this makes (choose one): the infant Jesus cry; America weak as well as our enemies strong; no friggin’ sense.

Of course, she published about this last January, so perhaps she’s had a come-to-Jesus moment as well as is now featuring vintage (or at least actual dresses) on her site, right? Right?

Wrong.(Do not change your set: the photo was such as this when I got it.)

Ah well. It was fun being the evil twin while it lasted. I suppose that now that I’m the great twin I should bone up on past eps of The Patty fight it out Show, which I only have to believe of to be horribly earwormed with the style tune (“They’re cousins, similar cousins …”). Goddammit, again.

Click on any type of of the pictures above to go to the style Diary site. just keep in mind that while I may not agree with what you select to wear (and may mock you), I will protect to the death your right to wear it as well as publish fuzzy photos of it on the internet.

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